August 14th

Today would have been our anniversary.  I didn't think about it too much, but it was definitely in the back of my mind.

After work I had some friends over and we played Apples to Apples for a few hours.  I love that game.  It was a really good time and definitely helped keep my mind off what date it was.

Katie, one of the girls I work with told me today that her boyfriend broke up with her.  They were also together for a long time and she didn't see it coming.  She knows I can relate.  Now we can share our pain and talk about how much boys suck.

I wonder what her break up feels like to her.  I mean, her ex is still available to talk to, if she wants.  He's still around.  Does that make it harder?  Sometimes people tell me that it's good that Shawn isn't around and I can't talk to him...but I don't think that's true.  I'm just left with so many questions and so much hurt and I don't have any closure.  Usually when people break up they still talk, they still are available to each other even if things aren't the same anymore.  I don't have that and it bothers me.  It's like...Shawn had me in his life for so long and then it was like he didn't even want me around as a friend anymore, he didn't even want to say one more word to me.  It was just done.  I had no say.  I had nothing.  He just decided to cut me out completely and I don't get it.  I never will.  Maybe one day he'll explain it to me, but I doubt it.

Now I'm just rambling.  I should be in bed.