I had typed out a long blog about last year's Thanksgiving and how Shawn's family spent it here in this house while I went home and how I came home to him...but I realize I need to stop living in the past.

My thoughts are constantly consumed Shawn and how things used to be and how things aren't like that anymore.  I need to find a way to cut it off.

I came back to Albany yesterday after spending a week at home.  It was nice and I enjoyed being with my family.  I cried when I left because I just hated the thought of coming back up here to be alone.

It's December.  Shawn could possibly be home now if he decided not to stay.  But that doesn't matter.  What matters is it's almost the end of the worst year of my life.  I keep hearing Shawn's voice in my head telling me that, "2014 is going to be a good a year for us." Well, that was a lie.  But I want to do all I can to make sure 2014 is a good year for me.  I need to stop wallowing.  I need to do something.  I don't know exactly what that something is, but I need to figure it out.  I need to set some goals.  I need to not dwell on things anymore.  I know I keep saying that, but I really want to mean it this time.

While I figure that out, here are a couple pictures from last week.