After I wrote my blog last night I wept in bed a little bit then went to sleep.

I did end up texting Dave back during my lunch break today.  He then texted back saying he's sorry if he woke me up when he called last night.  I said he didn't and then tonight he texted asking what I was up to.  "Going to bed" was my answer.  Which feels like I'm blowing him off.  Which I kind of am and although going to bed is in the near future, "crying on my couch" wasn't the best answer, I don't think.  Even though that's what I'm up to.

I wish I had any kind of feelings for him.  But I don't.  And his getting back in touch with me is just adding on to the stress I'm already feeling.

I don't want to be like this anymore.  I took a walk with Kristina tonight and told her about how stressed I am, but I don't think anyone besides mom really knows the whole picture.  I'm fine at work.  My co-workers don't know I come home and cry.  Almost a year later and I'm still not okay.  I know I seem like I'm doing alright, but I'm just not.

I'm just stuck.