Dream

Last night I had a super real Shawn dream.  It started with us talking on AIM, which is what we used to do when we were friends.  I asked him what he was doing and he gave me really vague answers.  At one point he told me, "I want you to know I'm not seeing anyone else."  I said "oh, good" and then he said, "There is this girl, Jen.  I'm not seeing her, but I'm in love with her."  Then I said, "I remember when you used to be in love with me."

Then the dream kinda switched and I went to the grocery store, when I got home Shawn was outside and told me he saw me there and I thought that was sad that he saw me there, but didn't come up and say hi.  I asked him why he was back from China and he said it was just for a few days.

It switched again and I was walking into the Campus Center, which is where the bookstore is.  Shawn was sitting on one of the couches outside of the bookstore with headphones in.  This is where he used to wait to for me to get out of work sometimes.

I walked up and sat down across from him and tried to ask him all the things I've been wondering, why he hasn't talked to me, why he sent me that e-mail telling me that he wasn't sure where he was going in life, but he wanted me to be there with him.  I stressed to him that he chose to send that e-mail, that he didn't have to and that he has to some how still feel something for me.

I know he said things back to me in this dream, but I can't remember them.  I do remember feeling like it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I'm so tired of these dreams.  I wish they would stop.  It makes starting my day so much harder.