Good times, more memories

Well, I had a really great weekend.  This is the first time in a while that I've felt normal and just let myself have fun.  I did have a ton of distractions and I was away from everything that reminded me of Shawn for a night, so that helped.  I did think of him still of course.  The last time I went to one of these conventions I called him every night I was gone and then came home to him.  I remember it was around the time Chris and Lindsey were moving out of our apartment in East Greenbush and I was going to be alone there for a couple weeks.  I was nervous to ask Shawn if I could stay with him because I didn't want to be alone.  But I asked and that's when we pretty much started living together.

So yeah, I guess I still had memories.  But I was able to forget about him and this situation for the most part and just have fun.  I'm such a huge fan of Supernatural and the actors, so getting to meet them again and go to the panels and just laugh and have a great time was refreshing.  It was a great get away.  I didn't end up telling Steph what happened and she didn't ask.  Probably my lack of bringing up Shawn gave her a pretty good idea.

I'm sad it's over.  It has been a great distraction.  I've found myself thinking about the past couple days more than I've thought about Shawn, until now of course because I'm back to reality.  I'm wishing he was here so I could tell him all about my weekend.  It's so weird to have a big, fun experience and not tell him about it.

I used to go through my days making a mental list of things I wanted to tell Shawn about when I got home.  I still find myself doing it sometimes.  But now it's more like things I would have told Shawn about if he were still here.

When he and I were talking on skype that week I was actually making real lists and writing stuff down so I wouldn't forget to tell him about anything.  The last night we talked he told me I needed to make longer lists.  I told him I would and the next day I made a long list and even asked my co-workers/friends if they had anything they wanted to ask or tell him so I could add it.

I never got to tell him any of those things.

I can't wait until I don't relate every single thing I do to Shawn and my life with him.

Tonight Sarah and I went for the usual walk around campus then we went to TCBY.  Totally had frozen yogurt for dinner.  Super healthy.

Today's picture is from yesterday.  It's my photo op from the convention with Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles.  I'm on the left, Steph is on the right.