I don't even know what is going on.  All I know is I miss being in a relationship and not having to play any games, just knowing that I'm with someone who loves me and I'll always have someone to come home to and hang out with.

Spencer has become very confusing and if I didn't like him so much I would totally just move on and forget about this whole thing.

He hasn't been very talkative and on Saturday night he told me we were definitely still going to hang out on Sunday, but then Sunday afternoon he told me he couldn't anymore.  So I asked him if he wanted to hang out another time this week and he said, "of course!" so when I tried to make a plan to hang out, he ignored the question.  Literally.  We would be texting and I would bring up him coming over and he'd reply, but not acknowledge that I asked.  So I flat out asked him if something was wrong and if we were okay.  He told me we were fine, he's just in a down mood lately and he's "thinking about things."  So again, I told him if he wanted a distraction he could always come over here.  I said, "you can come over and watch Supernatural and get away from your thinky thoughts for a little while."  His response was that I was one of his "thinky thoughts."  But he told me it's not a bad thing.  Whatever that means.

So we worked all day together yesterday and things were fine and he was flirty, but he still did not acknowledge that I asked him to come over.  So last night I texted him and told him I wasn't going to push anymore and he can let me know when he's done thinking and wants to hang out again and that I had a good day at work with him.

No reply.

But he comes into work this morning and stops to talk to me and asks me how I am and how my night was and asked if anything was wrong since I "didn't look happy."  Then later he walks over and randomly gives me a hug.

The vibe I get from him when we're working together is that everything is fine.  But then work ends and he doesn't talk to me and it looks like he doesn't want to hang out anymore.

I just hate games.  But I don't want to give up on him.  It just makes me feel like I'm not worth his time anymore and I'm so tired of not being worth anyone's time.  I just feel so insecure.  Like what happened that made him not want to check in with me anymore?

He's getting a new phone tonight.  He told me not to be confused if I get a text from a random number since he has to change his when he gets the phone.  I'm really hoping he does actually text me, I don't want to not have his number anymore.

Just...blah.  I came home and cried tonight.  I'm so tired of feeling like this.  I just want to be happy.