Vacation is over.  Meh.

I'm back in Albany.  I came home to a very empty porch.  I'm trying hard not to be sad about it, but I am a little.  I'm trying to think of what I'm going to do with the second bedroom now.  Mom and dad might bring up a twin bed to put in there so it can be like a guest room.  I can also use the closet in there to put some of my clothes.

I also needed a to come up with a new way for Odin to get up to the window on the porch.  Before he used Shawn's trunk of clothes and his keyboard as stepping stools, but those are gone.  Right now I have a plastic shelving unit set up for him to get up there, but I don't think he likes it much.  His paws kinda slide on it.  I'll figure something else out.

Speaking of Odin, I'm coming right up on the 2 year anniversary of his adoption.  How completely different my life was 2 years ago.

So, I went out with Joey tonight.  He was nice and we had good conversation...but I just didn't feel it.  I didn't walk away thinking I was excited.  I just didn't get *that* feeling.  So now I don't really know what to do.  I'm hoping he felt the same way so things aren't awkward now.

I don't know if I'm going to continue with online dating.  I don't know if I'm ready for all this.  I still think about Shawn a lot.  Even after everything I still miss him and want to talk to him.  Is it fair for me to go out with other people when I feel that way?  Is it wrong to still miss him, but want to meet other people so I can move on?

The last two nights I had more dreams.  In the first one he sent out an e-mail to his family and me saying what he had been up to and when he was coming home.  In it he wrote a paragraph for me that said he was sorry and he hoped we could meet up when he got back.  The dream from last night had him calling me on Skype.  I answered and we talked and I said a lot of things I can't remember, but I do remember telling him that I thought I had more to say.

These dreams are not helping.