So after going a week with Spencer acting weird, I texted him tonight just to talk.  He asked me how I've been doing lately and when my response was, "alright" he said, "why just alright? what's wrong?"

So I told him.  I told him I'm bummed out that he hasn't been talking to me outside of work and doesn't seem to want to hang out anymore kinda out of nowhere.

His response?  Surprise!  He met another girl and he really likes her and he's sorry.

Story of my life.

I get really close to people and then they find someone else they like better and stop hanging out with me.

As I sit here crying at 11:30 at night, I'm trying to tell myself that I knew this never would have worked out.  Like I said before, I can't expect him to not see other girls if I can't be with him in any kind of romantic way.  He's far too good looking and outgoing to just sit around waiting for someone.

But I was really hoping he would.  He said so many nice things and made me feel better and it was just last week that we were hanging out and he was telling me he wasn't going to hook up with anyone and drunk texting me that he wants me.

I think I just let myself get too caught up in it.  He was the first guy since Shawn who showed interest in me and I'm so lonely and it felt so nice to have someone else's attention.

So now I'm back to feeling pretty miserable again.  I hate that Shawn is probably all happy in his new life with his new girlfriend and I'm sitting here crying.

Life isn't fair.  That's a very hard lesson I've learned this year.