Some good news came yesterday.
I guess I should explain my rent situation first. Before Shawn left he always told me I wouldn't have to worry about the rent while he was away, that he would continue to help me pay it. He was going to leave signed checks for me to use every month. But he accidentally took his checks to his parent's house one weekend and forgot to bring them back home with him. Then he took off back there and never came back before he left for China, so I never got the checks. But he told me he left checks with his mom and she would send them to me each month.
Which kinda botherd me. She could have sent me all of the checks at once and I would just use them for rent each month. So it made me feel like they felt I couldn't be trusted with his money or something.
When Shawn stopped talking to me before he left I called his mom to try to see what was going on. She didn't have much information for me, but she did tell me to let her know what I wanted to do about the house because Shawn could only continue to help me pay rent "for a few months." She told me I should get a roommate or move, basically. She caught me completely off guard and I was too miserable and upset to talk about that with her, so I didn't.
I never got very close with Shawn's parents. They live 3 hours away and I just never got to know them very well. I did stay at their house a few times and they were always very nice, but we never got close. When Shawn left I tried many times to reach out to his mother to get some understanding or ask if she had heard from him, but she didn't usually offer any comfort. Her main concern seemed to be finding a way to not send me money each month and she would keep bringing up me getting a roommate. Our house is very small. It's pretty much a two bedroom apartment in house form. It worked for me and Shawn since we shared a bedroom, but it wouldn't really work to have a roommate. Plus I don't want a roommate. If Shawn's not coming back then I'd like to live here alone.
Anyway, Shawn's mom has been sending me checks. The first one came and it was $75 less than what Shawn usually pays. During the week of lies I told Shawn how much she sent me and he said he would talk to her and tell her to send more. He was very understanding about it. But then March rolled around and I got a check for the same amount. But this was at the point Shawn had stopped talking to me, so I couldn't tell him. I did e-mail him about it, but I sent so many e-mails to him in that month he stopped talking to me that I don't know what he saw and what he didn't or if he even read any of them. But I got the check for April rent last week and it was still for that same amount.
But whatever, I can live on what she's sending me and on what I make myself. Of course I'd like to get more and I should get more, but if that's how it's going to be I can make it work until the lease is up August.
So back to the good news. I had e-mailed my landlady last week and explained the situation to her. I told her how much I love this house and how I'd love to continue living here, but I would not be able to pay the rent on my own after August and asked if she would be willing to lower it for me so I could stay. I offered to do some of the work she does here like mowing the lawn. She e-mailed back the same night and told me she would have to think about it.
Last night she e-mailed me to say she wants to keep me as a tenant and will lower the rent for me when I renew the lease. She's still thinking about what the number will be, but she wants to make it work.
So that's one less thing to worry about. I know I should want to move somewhere else just because this place has so many memories of my time with Shawn, but I can't imagine moving and living in an apartment again. I like having a house all to myself, my own washer/dryer, my own driveway, no neighbors, etc. I don't know what's going to happen with all of Shawn's things here because most of the furniture is his, but I'll worry about that later.
But back to the subject of Shawn's mom. It makes me sad that she never really got to know me. My mom actually called and talked to her about two weeks ago and she said that Shawn never really talked to her about our relationship. That doesn't surprise me, but I wish he had. Maybe if she felt closer to me she wouldn't be so cold to me. I wish I had had her support during this whole thing, but I didn't. I'm sure when Shawn told her he weren't together anymore she didn't feel that sad or feel much emotion about it at all.
But anyway. I'm trying to stay positive. It's really hard. I am working long hours at work, which does help me keep my mind off things. My friend Sarah and I were talking about how we'd like to be in better shape and she said she'd love to work out, but she needed someone else to be with her to motivate her. I volunteered myself and we're going to start riding our bikes around the University. So hopefully we can keep that up.
Other than that, no crying yet today. I had a small breakdown last night, but it passed pretty quickly. Mom leaves tomorrow. We'll see I do the rest of the week.
No comments:
Post a Comment